Are You a Judge or a Painter?

Before you commit into a relationship, you should have both eyes wide open. But after, close one eye.

Let me elaborate my point, before you commit into a relationship, you should be very careful in evaluating your feelings. Check everything. Values. Background. Preferences. Reactions. Beliefs. Examine everything!

But after that, stop evaluating. Stop critiquing.

It’s now time to stop fixing the other person and start appreciating the entire person in his totality. Remove the robes of the courtroom judge. Instead, put on the robes of a painter capturing the beauty of a scene. An artist simply accepts what is and nurtures a gratitude for what is there.

When you accept the other person and become grateful for him, a great miracle happens: The person learns to accept himself too and thus bring healing of his Heart Wound. Changes begin to take place spontaneously.

You can never fix anyone.

Because fixing is an inside job. Never forced from the outside.
Yes, you should inspire. You should guide. You should teach. But you cannot force.
At the end of the day, the only thing you can do is to love the person by creating space for the other person to fix himself.