I don’t mind jumping from one thought to another, call it inconsistency, I won’t even bother. Is there anything else more inconsistent than I am? Today I admit I do not feel anything for you, and hours later I’m hurting because of you. Tell me if a chef could be consistent on the tastes of the dishes he prepare everyday. Tell me if an actor could be consistent in the character he portrays. Tell me if anyone of you has been consistent about love and has been happy? I don’t mind being inconsistent, really.
With my love for you, I feel like the earth rotating around its axis, axis that has never been seen but believed to be there, love that is never tangible but always present. The earth rotates around its axis and I revolve around my love for you. If love is an axis, are you my world? My love you do not see, and the axis no one has seen. They go together. Mixed thoughts? But I know you get me.
I wouldn’t claim that a love not reciprocated is unfair, well, it has been said that there’s someone who loves more and someone who loves less. But have they forgotten about that someone who is not loved back?
If I were to discuss love with anyone, a day wouldn’t be enough to fill in with all my thoughts and feelings. Love, just like religion and politics, is a never-ending topic. I have once capsulized love into two words – same shit. Same shit I feel and talk about, same shit I laughed at and cried for, same shit I have been dealing with and getting rid of.
In this life, I have met several people who brought me so much joy, and you are undeniably one of those people. Ironically, the people who have made me smile are the same people who let my tears roll down my cheeks.
There is one feeling I hate to bear, have you denied yourself of letting out an emotion? Have you deprived yourself of the chance to just let out, let loose and run away? I’m guilty of all these, what’s that one feeling again? I say stupidity. I don’t mind being categorized as one.
I believe that a smile is a very effective mask. A mask can conceal hurt, pain, angst and jealousy. I can smile all day and conceal all these; of course, you wouldn’t know how I really feel deep within because you are blinded with my flashing smiles. It just feels sad to know that you never looked into the windows of my soul… my eyes. If you only cared to look me in my eyes, you would see all the emotions I’m keeping, sadness is very much visible. Now I wish for someone who would look into my soul and then, the world around me would become quiet. To wish is all I can do for the moment.
I don’t mind being inconsistent. I don’t mind jumping from one thought to another. Just like this collection of crap words, it is inconsistent. But now, I claim inconsistency is not something negative. It is the only consistent aspect of me at present.
Going back to love as an axis, I suddenly realized that the earth does not depend on its axis. But in this picture I have in mind, you are the axis of my life, yes I do not depend on you but I revolve around you. But you could also be the earth and I am the axis, you can exist without me and continue revolving.
I don’t mind jumping from one thought to another, just like this collection of crap words. I don’t mind being inconsistent, just like this collection of crap words.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
I Heart You
I just realized, just now, YES! few seconds ago, that I just have to have faith in somebody sometimes...
I hope, it's all worth the risk, because I am betting almost all of me. Just hopin, it's all worth the deal.
I hope, it's all worth the risk, because I am betting almost all of me. Just hopin, it's all worth the deal.
Suicide
As Winston Churchill once said, courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
So please do not ever try to mess up with a smart and fabulous people especially if that smart and fabulous person is surrounded with equally smart and fabulous friends.
...in our dictionary, we call that SUICIDE.
So please do not ever try to mess up with a smart and fabulous people especially if that smart and fabulous person is surrounded with equally smart and fabulous friends.
...in our dictionary, we call that SUICIDE.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Shake You Down
Don’t let big problems stun you to inaction. You can rest. But you can’t stop. After catching your breath, stand up. And just put one foot in front of the other. If you can’t run, walk. If you can’t walk, limp. If you can’t limp, crawl. Just keep moving. And you will win.
I'm Not Your Superhuman... I'm Just Your Ordinary Boy!
No one is programmed to do the right thing all the time. No one. Mistakes are there to help us to be better people, stronger, smarter. Perfection is boring. No one wants anyone who's boring.
Burn yourself playing with fire... and then you heal... and wear the scars proudly.
Burn yourself playing with fire... and then you heal... and wear the scars proudly.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Are You a Judge or a Painter?
Before you commit into a relationship, you should have both eyes wide open. But after, close one eye.
Let me elaborate my point, before you commit into a relationship, you should be very careful in evaluating your feelings. Check everything. Values. Background. Preferences. Reactions. Beliefs. Examine everything!
But after that, stop evaluating. Stop critiquing.
It’s now time to stop fixing the other person and start appreciating the entire person in his totality. Remove the robes of the courtroom judge. Instead, put on the robes of a painter capturing the beauty of a scene. An artist simply accepts what is and nurtures a gratitude for what is there.
When you accept the other person and become grateful for him, a great miracle happens: The person learns to accept himself too and thus bring healing of his Heart Wound. Changes begin to take place spontaneously.
You can never fix anyone.
Because fixing is an inside job. Never forced from the outside.
Yes, you should inspire. You should guide. You should teach. But you cannot force.
At the end of the day, the only thing you can do is to love the person by creating space for the other person to fix himself.
Let me elaborate my point, before you commit into a relationship, you should be very careful in evaluating your feelings. Check everything. Values. Background. Preferences. Reactions. Beliefs. Examine everything!
But after that, stop evaluating. Stop critiquing.
It’s now time to stop fixing the other person and start appreciating the entire person in his totality. Remove the robes of the courtroom judge. Instead, put on the robes of a painter capturing the beauty of a scene. An artist simply accepts what is and nurtures a gratitude for what is there.
When you accept the other person and become grateful for him, a great miracle happens: The person learns to accept himself too and thus bring healing of his Heart Wound. Changes begin to take place spontaneously.
You can never fix anyone.
Because fixing is an inside job. Never forced from the outside.
Yes, you should inspire. You should guide. You should teach. But you cannot force.
At the end of the day, the only thing you can do is to love the person by creating space for the other person to fix himself.
What You Like and What You Do Not Like Maybe One and the Same Thing
I have mixed feelings about my cellphone.
My relationship with my phone is ambivalent.
I like it and I don’t like it.
There are days when I think it’s the greatest invention since peanut butter. And there are days when I want to fling it into the mouth of a volcano.
Here’s what I noticed: The very features that I like are the very same features that I don’t like. Absurd but true.
Why do I like my phone? I like the fact that I can call up the 954 people in my phone directory anytime. Useful when I am trap inside the elevator, when I need an ear to listen or simply just appearing to be a mysterious jerk to your crush coz you do not have the guts to show up.
Why do I not like my phone? I don’t like the fact that these 954 people can call me up at anytime—even when I’m lying on a hammock in a tiny island far out in the Pacific Ocean.
Why do I like my phone? Because I can bring it everywhere I go.
Why do I not like my phone? Because I can bring it everywhere I go!
Question: Have you ever had the absurd experience of leaving your cellphone at home and having to make a U-turn to come back for it? Nuts, right? Cellphones are now like one of our kidneys. You can still survive if it gets lost, but it’ll be risky.
I repeat: The very things that I like are the very same things that I don’t like.
Funny, but this is also true with our relationship.
Its funny how the very thing that made you crazy for a person will be the very same thing that will drive you crazy in the years to come.
If you fell in love with your partner because she was bubbly and the life of the party, today, you want to zip her mouth so that there would be world peace.
If you fell in love with your partner because he was quiet, strong, and steady as a rock, today, you want to curse him for being so cold and unresponsive—like you’re talking to a rock.
If you fell in love with your partner because of her stunning beauty, today, you find yourself pulling your hair in the car, waiting for her because she takes 3 hours just to dress up and put on her make-up.
Remember: Every strength has a weakness.
A weakness is really a strength applied inappropriately. And the way I see it, We are all right in the wrong way!
You can’t have only one side of the coin. You have to have both.
My relationship with my phone is ambivalent.
I like it and I don’t like it.
There are days when I think it’s the greatest invention since peanut butter. And there are days when I want to fling it into the mouth of a volcano.
Here’s what I noticed: The very features that I like are the very same features that I don’t like. Absurd but true.
Why do I like my phone? I like the fact that I can call up the 954 people in my phone directory anytime. Useful when I am trap inside the elevator, when I need an ear to listen or simply just appearing to be a mysterious jerk to your crush coz you do not have the guts to show up.
Why do I not like my phone? I don’t like the fact that these 954 people can call me up at anytime—even when I’m lying on a hammock in a tiny island far out in the Pacific Ocean.
Why do I like my phone? Because I can bring it everywhere I go.
Why do I not like my phone? Because I can bring it everywhere I go!
Question: Have you ever had the absurd experience of leaving your cellphone at home and having to make a U-turn to come back for it? Nuts, right? Cellphones are now like one of our kidneys. You can still survive if it gets lost, but it’ll be risky.
I repeat: The very things that I like are the very same things that I don’t like.
Funny, but this is also true with our relationship.
Its funny how the very thing that made you crazy for a person will be the very same thing that will drive you crazy in the years to come.
If you fell in love with your partner because she was bubbly and the life of the party, today, you want to zip her mouth so that there would be world peace.
If you fell in love with your partner because he was quiet, strong, and steady as a rock, today, you want to curse him for being so cold and unresponsive—like you’re talking to a rock.
If you fell in love with your partner because of her stunning beauty, today, you find yourself pulling your hair in the car, waiting for her because she takes 3 hours just to dress up and put on her make-up.
Remember: Every strength has a weakness.
A weakness is really a strength applied inappropriately. And the way I see it, We are all right in the wrong way!
You can’t have only one side of the coin. You have to have both.
Stop Trying to Fix People
You know what our monstrous mistake is?
We try to fix the people in our life.
I see people complain about the people in their life.
Wives complain about their husbands coz the husband eats too much.
Or the husband watches too much TV.
Or the husband does not have a one romantic bone in his body.
But husbands complain about their wives too coz their too extravagant.
Or the wife is always hysterical and historical. She remembers all the past mistakes of her husband, including date, time, and place.
Or the wife is so talkative. If the universe paid 1 centavo for every word his wife said, the husband would be the richest man in the world today.
Parents complain about their kids too coz they are too messy.
Or their kids cannot focus on their studies.
One mother said, “My kids are so lazy. If given a chance, they’ll ask someone to breathe for them.”
And everywhere I go, I also hear many kids ask to fix their parents.
“My parents are too strict.”
“My parents are too corny.”
“My parents are too tight.”
One girl said, “They allow me to swim only if I wear a long gown.”
All over the world, people want to fix people.
First of all, you want to fix people because you love them.
But sometimes, our motives aren’t pure. Sometimes, we want to fix our loved ones because of shame. We’re ashamed of what other people will say about our kids, our siblings, our spouses, and our parents.
Another reason of our “fixing other people” tendencies is we’re afflicted with the disease called comparisonities.
Humans like to look to the other side of the fence to see if it’s greener.
Someone told me that marriage is like going to a restaurant. After you ordered your dish, you learn what the other table ordered, and suddenly regret what you ordered.
Believe me, this urge to compare causes so much misery in marriages. If you always compare your wife’s body with Beyonce or Angelina Jolie, she can’t compete. Or if you compare your husband’s salary with Donald Trump’s earnings, he can’t compete. Many times, we compare our spouse to someone who doesn’t exist. For example, we fantasize about Hollywood stars who aren’t real. Because all their blemishes were removed by photoshop and a huge PR company.
Even the pretty officemate who seems so gorgeous on the outside may actually be your worst nightmare the moment you live with her. You really don’t fall in love with her. You fall in love with a projection of how you imagine her to be.
We have a tendency to compare our kids with other kids.
We even verbally share our comparisons in the hopes of motivating him.
I overheard one mother tell her little boy, “Junior, why can’t you get good grades like your sister? She gets straight A’s in all subjects. But you’re highest grades are Recess and Lunch.”
Parents compare their kids to their classmates, their cousins, and even to themselves when they were young. Their sermons begin with this famous line: “When I was young, I wasn’t like you…”
Kids cannot flourish in an environment where they are being judged. Kids flourish in an environment of appreciation.
All day long, we try to look for the faults of the people around us.
But behind this critical spirit towards others is really a critical spirit toward oneself. In fact, the critic pulls down others so that he can hide his own failures.
We try to fix the people in our life.
I see people complain about the people in their life.
Wives complain about their husbands coz the husband eats too much.
Or the husband watches too much TV.
Or the husband does not have a one romantic bone in his body.
But husbands complain about their wives too coz their too extravagant.
Or the wife is always hysterical and historical. She remembers all the past mistakes of her husband, including date, time, and place.
Or the wife is so talkative. If the universe paid 1 centavo for every word his wife said, the husband would be the richest man in the world today.
Parents complain about their kids too coz they are too messy.
Or their kids cannot focus on their studies.
One mother said, “My kids are so lazy. If given a chance, they’ll ask someone to breathe for them.”
And everywhere I go, I also hear many kids ask to fix their parents.
“My parents are too strict.”
“My parents are too corny.”
“My parents are too tight.”
One girl said, “They allow me to swim only if I wear a long gown.”
All over the world, people want to fix people.
First of all, you want to fix people because you love them.
But sometimes, our motives aren’t pure. Sometimes, we want to fix our loved ones because of shame. We’re ashamed of what other people will say about our kids, our siblings, our spouses, and our parents.
Another reason of our “fixing other people” tendencies is we’re afflicted with the disease called comparisonities.
Humans like to look to the other side of the fence to see if it’s greener.
Someone told me that marriage is like going to a restaurant. After you ordered your dish, you learn what the other table ordered, and suddenly regret what you ordered.
Believe me, this urge to compare causes so much misery in marriages. If you always compare your wife’s body with Beyonce or Angelina Jolie, she can’t compete. Or if you compare your husband’s salary with Donald Trump’s earnings, he can’t compete. Many times, we compare our spouse to someone who doesn’t exist. For example, we fantasize about Hollywood stars who aren’t real. Because all their blemishes were removed by photoshop and a huge PR company.
Even the pretty officemate who seems so gorgeous on the outside may actually be your worst nightmare the moment you live with her. You really don’t fall in love with her. You fall in love with a projection of how you imagine her to be.
We have a tendency to compare our kids with other kids.
We even verbally share our comparisons in the hopes of motivating him.
I overheard one mother tell her little boy, “Junior, why can’t you get good grades like your sister? She gets straight A’s in all subjects. But you’re highest grades are Recess and Lunch.”
Parents compare their kids to their classmates, their cousins, and even to themselves when they were young. Their sermons begin with this famous line: “When I was young, I wasn’t like you…”
Kids cannot flourish in an environment where they are being judged. Kids flourish in an environment of appreciation.
All day long, we try to look for the faults of the people around us.
But behind this critical spirit towards others is really a critical spirit toward oneself. In fact, the critic pulls down others so that he can hide his own failures.
The Promise
I will reach your hand in the cold of winter.
I will reach for your hand in the heat of summer.
But if my short life cannot reach the dawn of spring,
I promise in heaven I reach you with my wings.
I will reach for your hand in the heat of summer.
But if my short life cannot reach the dawn of spring,
I promise in heaven I reach you with my wings.
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